I Wanted to Tell You
by Slayergirl1362
Summary: sequel to "what i wanted to say" It's been a year since Raven left the Teen Titans, but she finds herself missing Beast Boy. what she doesn't know is that he lives right across the street... just read it. summaries are evil. and no, i don't own the Titans
1. Confusion

A/N: ok peoplz. Sorry for making y'all wait! This won't be too long, but at least I'm making it, so deal with it. And sorry if it's kinda bad. Like I said, I didn't plan on doing it. Plus, I have a semi writer's block. And I kinda planned the ending before the middle, so the end's probably going to be better than any other part. So just keep reading, and review, kk? Lol peeps.

As for all of you new readers, this is a sequel to my one-shot songfic called "What I Wanted to Say" you should probably go read it first, but if u don't wanna at the moment, basically what happened is bb told raven he loved her, and she didn't want to admit she loved him back cuz of her more intense emotions making her power go wacky and kablooey. So she left the teen titans, and now it's a year later and bb and raven live across the street from eachother but don't know it. You should probably just read the other fic. It'll make so much more sense.

Disclaimer: I don't have the brains and/or money to own the Teen Titans.

I Wanted to Tell You

Chapter 1

Raven was in a park, sitting in the shade of a large willow tree. With Beast Boy. Her eyes were closed as she savored the peace and tranquility. She felt, rather than saw, Beast Boy lean over, and they kissed. A small and gentle kiss that caused a feeling of such peace to wash over her. She felt her love swell, filling her entire being with a soft warmth.

'you should break this kiss, before you uproot the tree or something,' said a voice in the back of her mind. So she gently pulled away and opened her closed eyes. And found herself alone, sitting on the windowsill in her apartment once more, looking out onto the busy street below, filled with cars and umbrellas to shield people against the falling rain.

For a moment she was bewildered and disoriented. Then she remembered that not everything was alright after all. That she had left the Titans long ago, and Beast Boy along with them. She had fooled herself for a moment there.

She sighed and got up to go clean up whatever she had broken this time before she began painfully yearning for _him_ again. She turned and swept her eyes around her small one room apartment.

Oddly enough, she found nothing broken. No glass was shattered. No plate flung out of the dishwasher. No spoon snapped in half. Nothing. Raven realized that the reason she had so easily fooled herself with her imagining, was because there hadn't been any noise, caused by another of her possessions being demolished, to jerk her out of her fantasy like usual.

But surely the powerful rush of love she'd felt during the kiss was enough to set her powers off somehow? Nevertheless, nothing had so much as moved. Nothing whatsoever had happened.

Her confusion gave way to a sudden wave of nostalgia when, for no apparent reason at all, Beast Boy's face suddenly came to mind. She missed him. And she hurt. The table started to vibrate, and Raven realized she wasn't getting anywhere with her thoughts.

She walked almost robotically towards her bed, her mind still whirling and cloudy with confusion, and slipped into the cool, silken sheets. Down into the world of dreamless sleep that was, apart from meditation, her only haven from herself.

A/N: Yeah, I know it's a tad confusing. But I will try to explain the stuff in this chapter in the next one(s). Tell me, did it meet the standards set by the prequel? Probably not. But do review! I will try to make the next chapter longer. And try to get the stuff in this chapter down. It's kinda sorta really important to the story (overshadowing). Thnx all for reading! Lol and check back, kk? Again, sorry if it's not quite as good as you expected. Tell me what to improve on and if I am being too sappy or worded or whatever. Reviews will make me very happy! :)


	2. The Other Side of the Story

A/N: I apologize for taking so long to update! Really really sorry! This chapter will be a little different, and I apologize if it is confusing as well. You people will have to tell me what you think. If you have any question, feel free to ask in the reviews also! Again, italics are flashbacks. Lol.

I also wanna say thnx to all of you who reviewed! Thank you so very much! I think that if it weren't for all the reviews, I would be taking even LONGER to update! Imagine that! Heh.

**JAkkEd-UP**: I wanna say thanks for reviewing. You've continued to read and review this story so thanks! Please keep reading and reviewing!

**animelink**: here I go!(continuing i mean)

**RoBeN**: I see. Shall we have a pop quiz? What country do I live in? and btw, I know where you live too. Lol.:)

**starwave**: ok, you want emails that you won't find until a month later, or a telephone call you probably won't be there to pick up? jk. Lol. But you really should check your email more often. I think I'll call you anyways. And when are you going to post a new fanfiction?! Maybe I should nag and nag and nag until you write something. Hehehehe. Anyhow, thnx so much for reading my stuff! And taping TT for me! Luv ya lots. Also, did you finish the hw packet? If you haven't, you really should. It's not that hard... ok, so maybe it is. But the part we had left was really easy! sees all the other reviewers getting bored and falling asleep ok, I'll keep going!

**The ShapeShifting Chick**: thank you very much. So you got it? It was actually not confusing? Thank you!

**Wordbearer**: thnx! Of course, now I'm nervous. I wanna live/write up to your expectations, so tell me if you think the plot is going kerfloom, kk? Lol. (yah peeps, I meant to say kerfloom)

**Helga Moon**: thank you! As for raven meeting beast boy, you'll just have to see won't you? Oh, and p.s., I enjoy reading your stories too. So update soon, kk?

**Winged-Raccoon-The-Dragon**: yah, it is kinda funny if you think about it. It was meant to be angsty, cuz they are so very close but don't know it. But seriously, wow, what a coincidence, huh? And don't worry about your IQ. I didn't know what nostalgia meant either until someone said it on a show that I'm obsessed with on an episode I kept watching over and over. Heh. Yah, I'm crazy. So is everyone else. So anyways, nostalgia means when you want everything back the way it was. Kinda, missing stuff, you know? Umm, the dictionary says "A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past." So yeah. That's what nostalgia is. Mm-hmm! Did that help? Lol.

Disclaimer: before I forget it, I don't own the teen titans. I don't think they would be able to fit in my house. Plus, I like tofu, and I plan to **_keep_** liking it.

Chapter 2

Beast boy woke up late in the morning. He always did now that there wasn't any competition over what breakfast was. He got dressed and sat on the bed for a while, thinking about the dream he'd had the last night. About the subject of every one of his dreams nowadays. Raven.

Today was the rainy, one year anniversary of that day. One year later, and Beast Boy still remembered every detail of it.

"_Raven!"_

_Beast Boy called after her in vain. After she had phased through, the glass had become solid once more. She wouldn't have been able to hear him. And if she did, would she turn back?_

"_no..." Beast Boy answered his own question. She wouldn't have come back. And she wouldn't come back ever again. This, he knew deep inside. Because he suddenly understood why she had left. Her emotions were a bomb, and he had struck a match. _

_He had forgotten. He had let himself think she was a normal girl, free to feel. Let himself worry over the normal 'how do I tell her.' He'd forgotten to consider how hard it would be for her. Especially if she really did like him back._

"_IDIOT" he screamed at himself, causing echoes in the large room. A million thoughts swirled 'round his head. He couldn't stay here. Not without her. There were far to many reminders. The walls themselves whispered of her. He ran to his room and packed away all his possessions. All the necessary ones. He took the communicator with him and left a note, saying that he had to leave. That they should call him whenever they were shorthanded in battle. But he wasn't going to be a full-time titan any longer._

_As he headed to the roof to leave, he passed by Raven's room. Following an impulse, he went in and grabbed her meditation mirror. To serve as a reminder of her. It occurred to him, in the back of his mind, that she hadn't taken anything with her. Would she be alright?_

_Still mentally beating on himself, Beast Boy climbed up the last few steps and emerged onto the roof. He looked around one last time. Night was falling behind the clouds, hidden to all the rain touched. Just as daybreak had been. Beast Boy sighed, and changed into an eagle. He grasped his bag and the mirror with his talons._

_And flew away._

"idiot." Beast Boy once again muttered to himself. He was a part time titan now. While it didn't pay as much, he had enough for the small apartment he was living in now. He was doing ok.

He walked over to his dresser and picked it up. Raven's mirror. His one memento of her. He wasn't afraid of the mirror anymore. It hadn't pulled him in since the last time with Cyborg. Besides, should it ever happen, he knew how to get out again. At times, the mirror would clear, and Beast Boy could look into Raven's mind, and see the dominant emotion at the time. It was almost as good as seeing Raven herself. Almost.

Beast Boy was lucky today. The mirror shimmered and the reflection changed to reveal the dark landscape that was Raven's mind. But today was also a little different. The surface of the mirror wavered a little, like water that has been disturbed. Beast Boy instinctively touched the mirror. And fell in.

A/N: sorry about shortness and cliffy. I have more planned, but I felt like this'd be a suitable place to end. Sorry. Is the chapter bad? Sorry about that too. I tried. And I want to get it up before they make it so you can't log in. please review. be gentle if you hated it please. And do keep reading, cuz I will write more. Possibly sooner! And better! ;) Lol. Review please!


	3. Falling into the Looking Glass

A/N: do you people read these things? Oh well. If ya don't, then you **_should!!!_** Anyhoo, school's about to start for me, so I figured I should update before I begin the ritual drowning in homework. Lol. Hopefully you like this chapter. All you people got lucky that I got into a writing mood. I've been writing stuff like crazy. Oh, and check out some of my other stories too! Thankies for reading. This chapter will be a little different too, and hopefully make you chuckle a bit. :)

**Winged-Raccoon-The-Dragon**:no prob! grins I like helping. Well, I don't know if he'll be seeing the emotions. I actually wasn't planning on having Happy or anyone, but I'll see if I can put in a happy hug for ya. ;)

**Helga Moon**: you will have to wait and see if they will meet. :) and I haven't seen any updates yet. Is it just my computer? Thanks for reviewing my stories! makes me happy happy happy...

**King Cheetah**: good to know that you reviewed, even if I didn't get it. Lol. And I luved the fics of yours I read.

**CloudedDragon**: being happy is good. Be happy now!

**tiny titan**: thanks! And yeah, the teen titans are the best!

**Wordbearer**: ok! Thanks! -_relieved look-_

**Grumbumble**: thanks so much! And like I said, you seem really cool! Plz update your story soon! Both you and your story are on my favorites list!!

And last but not least, my very bestest of all friends whom I think I should just go and dedicate this chapter to...

**Starwave**: well, pushing you to the brink of sanity is so much _fun_!! -_innocent face-_ And send the lawn gnomes if you want, for I shall not _need_ to make them fall under my control this time!! Hahaha!! For my vampire army that is constantly increasing shall subdue them!!! And then, they will ally themselves with us and turn back on you!! Aside from the cheesy crazyness, make sure to take care of yourself, ok? See you soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. They refuse to give up the perks of living in a giant tower that is somehow shaped like a T on an island off the mainland, to live in my bitty little house and be driven insane by me. Lol.

Chapter 3

Beast Boy stood up, shocked, after he finally landed. Raven's mirror hadn't done that since the last time with Cyborg. Plus, instead of being pulled in, he'd _fallen_ in! Beast Boy had figured, since the mirror never pulled him after that one time she was struggling with the Hate, that it only did when Raven was going through something really, really big. But what could it have possibly been this time?

He looked around to try and figure out exactly where in Raven's mind was. Recognizing the bright, sweet smelling realm as that of a happy Raven, he wasn't too surprised at the sound of distant giggles. Smiling as he realized he'd be pretty much _seeing_ Raven again, if only a part of her, he turned to go in search of the pink clad semblance of Raven.

Walking to the top of one of the brightly colored hills, he spotted her, skipping around in circles with arms outstretched. As he descended, he noted that she'd gotten taller, though still not as tall as he had gotten.

When he was but a couple of feet away, Happy spotted Beast Boy. To his surprise, she didn't rush at him, or grin, or anything. She just stood, staring for a second, and gasped in surprise as if she'd just opened a birthday present and gotten exactly what she wanted. _Then _she rushed at him, lightening speed and gave him a hug tighter than any Starfire could have administered.

Just when he thought he was going to faint from the lack of oxygen, she let go and began jumping up and down in ecstasy.

"BB!!!!" she screamed joyfully.

"Um, hi?" he replied. He had remembered that the Happy was, of course, happy, but he'd _never_ seen her _this_ hyperactive and expressive. Maybe, maybe it was because it was... him? Could it be? Or was Raven, wherever she was, just really happy?

"HI!!! Why are ya blue?" asked the Happy, giggling. "it looks kinda funny."

Beast Boy sweat dropped as he waited until his circulation, cut off from the hug, started up again. This, combined with sudden shy-ness and embarrassment succeeded in turning him from blue to red. Happy laughed.

"I didn't know you could change species _and _colors!!!" she teased, giggling.

"Well, only for you, milady," he replied jokingly with a bow to go with it. To his delight, she began to giggle even harder. Straightening, he gave her his most winning smile. After a bit, she calmed down a little, and got a bit more serious.

"Hey, BB, how come you haven't come to see me? I missed you lots! Raven doesn't ever let me run around anymore!" Happy pouted, eyes big. Suddenly energetic and bubbly once more, she grabbed his wrist and began to run, dragging him along behind.

"Oh well, all that matters is that you're here now!!" she cried as she screeched to a stop on the highest hill in sight. She turned to face him, grinning, and suddenly there was a bright, soft white light surrounding them, building and getting brighter until he couldn't see anything for a moment.

After the light suddenly faded, Beast Boy found himself in the dark space of Raven's mind. Considering that the freaky parts of his last visit occurred in this realm, he decided to be wary. Especially of small black birds...

"Beast Boy." stated a softly gentle voice. He whirled around and came face to face with Raven. But it wasn't one that he could recall seeing. Not the Sad emotion, or the Brave emotion, or even the Hate (thank goodness).

No, this replica was different from them all. At first glance, one would have taken her to be Raven when she was fused with other emotions, seeing as she was clad completely in white as Raven had been during the battle with the Hate. But upon further inspection, Beast Boy realized that her cloak was a translucent, shimmering, gauze-like material that flowed out lightly as she moved. Trailing behind her was a flurry of nature- green grass and flora of every kind, glittering butterflies, and even moving lights of every color that one could only assume to be faeries. A sharp contrast to the plain and dark space and wasteland that surrounded them.

Beast Boy stared in shock. This new emotion walked up to him solemnly and reached out to touch him, as if to test if he was real. Pulling back, she smiled a small half smile and spoke once again.

"I see. This is why I have been called out."

Beast Boy's face bore an expression of confusion as he asked "Out from where?"

"The deeper recesses of Raven's mind where I usually dwell. She rarely lets me venture out at all anymore, and never this far. Not since she found out." She answered wistfully.

"Since she found out what? What are you talking about? Who are you anyway?" Beast Boy had so many questions flying through his mind. He had been confused since the mirror cleared and it was _not_ getting any better. Raven only smiled again, sadly.

"When she found out about her father- what she was. That she was part demon, harboring within her some of the purest evil to be found anywhere," she explained, looking out beyond him now, eyes glazing over as if recalling a distant memory.

"That was the first time she felt anger, and the first time her emotions sent her powers out of control. She used be such a loving child, and I had full reign in her mind, venturing whereever I wished to go, whenever I pleased. But since that incident, I have been bound to the deepest part of her mind, even more so than all the other emotions she's tethered. The only time I've actually ventured close to here after that is after she joined the Titans," she sighed, her eyes trained once more on Beast Boy.

"Then you're the Love emotion?" he questioned. He'd never heard much of Raven's past, and what he had just heard, obviously a very crucial point in her life, was surprising to him. He was still rather confused though. From what she had said, Raven hadn't always had to be emotionless to contain her powers, or even use any effort at all. His wondering was interrupted, however, when he noticed a solitary tear slid down the Love's cheek.

"Hey, are you ok?" he reached out and touched her shoulder, hoping to sooth her. Before he realized it though, he was holding her very close, and looking deep into her eyes. The Love waved a single hand and a giant, majestic willow tree sprouted and grew, it's branched hanging over them protectively. They leaned in slowly, and their lips met. Beast Boy's thoughts all stopped and his heart skipped a beat. This was something he'd wanted for over a year now. To be kissing Raven, the dark girl who had made off with his heart. He saw her eyes slid shut, and they remained that way for a few moments, a soft white light emitting from them, causing the nature to spread and spread. Too soon, she slowly pulled away, and open her eyes.

A mist suddenly came about and shrouded them. Its tendrils wrapping around everything and making it so that Beast Boy couldn't see Raven, or anything, anymore. As it slowly thinned, a gray-cloaked replica of Raven, eyes shinning with tears, appeared and gazed at him longingly. He felt himself being pulled away from everything around him, and suddenly found himself sitting on the floor in his apartment once more. Alone.

Before he could begin to ponder about what had just happened though, he heard a familiar tune beeping. Pulling out his communicator, he heard Robin saying his trademark phrase.

"Titans! We've got trouble!"

A/N: So, tell me what you thought? Please? Write me reviews so that I can feel good and stop thinking about school? -_puppy eyes-_ **_please_** review!!!!!!! And what'd you think about the Love emotion? See, I had her all white like Raven was in nevermore, because love brings up and includes a whole lots of your other emotions like happiness and sadness, and can make you brave and all that other stuff, and when Raven had all that combined, she was dressed in white! Plus, since that was her minus the Hate emotion, and love and hate are supposed to be opposite, it only makes sense to have the Love emotion white, right? But it is a lil' different because the cloak is see-through, which is cuz the real Raven isn't actually in there! so what'd you think?

please press the button and review? pretty please? please please please please please...


	4. Causes and Effects

A/N: yah, I took forever!!! And I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry!!!:(  hope all my reviewers haven't up and abandoned this story. -depressed look- and I am also sorry for making you wait so long and only giving you a short chapter.

**Winged-Raccoon-The-Dragon: **yay!!! I have happiness that it made you laugh!! :) and rooting for you to escape from the men in white again so you can review my story!! :)

**CloudedDragon: **your fic was really good. Plz update? –puppy eyes- I started school September 7th, too. Yes, I will still write during school, but only on days like today when I have a 4day weekend. :) well, that and not **_too_** much homework. I don't like homework much at all. Plz update and review again!!

**Soraoathkeeper: **ok, finally updating now!! :) thnx for the review.

**audi katia:** yay!! I'm glad you like the story. :) thnx so very much for reviewing!

**Archer of the Titan:** Thanks!!! :)

**dancingirl3: **ok!! Well, it's not exactly "soon", but I'm updating!!

**Green-Husky: **hehe. Tofu is of the goodness. –nod- and thankies!! :)

**Moonlight-is-Innocence:** thanks so much for the compliment!! I hope you see fit to review again!! :) And I say that all things of the Buffyverse are cool. I'm just sad they ended btvs and angel. I think veronica mars seems interesting though. They did say that it was the "next buffy the vampire slayer". Well, teen titans are of the good!! XD

**thedoorsrock: **thnx!! :)

**Anastasia Who:** thanks so much for reviewing all those stories of mine!! XD your reviews made me happy!! :) 

**TiTan dude:** thnx. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter- I don't do good on long chapters. Or long stories even. –sigh- which is probably why it takes me forever and a day to update this. I do think that it is longer than most of my other ones though. I think.

**Grumbumble: **thank you so very much!!! I really value your compliment. I hope you update again soon cuz I luv your story. :) and long reviews are of the good- I once left a review that was like 20 lines long- more if you count all the spacing between paragraphs!! :)

**Lost Inside: **yah, I guess it is kinda weird. But it's just like raven in a way- looks exactly like her- acts like she sometimes acts, etc. I thank you for your review. hope you like this chapter too. :)

**Wordbearer:** hehe. Thanks?

**JesusFreak9: **(who reviewed what I wanted to say) thanks. You aren't bad yourself. Were you listening to loss for words on purpose or did it just happen to be playing on the radio? Cuz that'd be really cool. :)

**Zoe Rose: **(who reviewed what I wanted to say) thanks for reviewing my stuff!! Your stuff is good. :) hope you like this!!! XD

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the teen titans. If I did, viewers would actually be suing me for taking so long to update, and I don't have that kind of money.

**Chapter 4 **

Raven awoke slowly, as one floats to the surface in a pool of water. Awareness seeped in. First, the steady beating of the rain against the building was heard. Then came the awareness of being on a bed, horizontal, and lying between sheets. After that, light peeked in through eyelids until they slowly opened, almost on their own.

Lastly came the first thoughts, memories, and sense of self- the very things sleep had been an escape for. Raven felt a bit of dismay at having to finally wake up, but seeing as she was already conscious, she decided to just get up. Deciding to deal with her previous confusion and analyze her emotional outbursts later, she shook off the thoughts of that specific person before they could fully form.

A slight noise alerted Raven to the fact that her stomach was rather empty, so she climbed out of bed, though rather reluctantly. Walking over to the kitchen part of the small apartment, she decided to fix a sandwich.

Unfortunately, the refrigerator door swung open to reveal it's own emptiness. She would have to go down to the local market/grocery store. Donning on her cloak, she exited the apartment, locking the door behind her. It wouldn't do to have someone come in to steal the few things she had.

She walked down the steps of the apartment deliberately, one at a time, at a pace that was neither quick nor sluggish. Hunger, after all, is in the mind, and can be repressed for a time. Ultimately, however, one must eat, and thus, must acquire some nourishment. At the moment though, Raven was past the point of initial hunger, but not yet at the point at which sustenance is necessary, and therefore saw fit to travel at an almost leisurely pace.

As soon as she stepped outside, into the bright, though grayishly tinted atmosphere of the very street she had been observing earlier, she quickened her pace slightly to avoid getting drenched by the lightly falling rain. She pulled her hood up a ways more, and waited at the stoplight for the walk signal to appear, allowing her to cross the road and continue a ways to the grocery store.

_Miss, miss,_

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"We've got trouble!"

Beast Boy reacted immediately, throwing on a full-length coat and hurrying down the steps of his apartment building. Though he knew his friends needed his help, he also knew that they were strong, and could hold their own, so every time he had to help out, he would cross the street and then walk a ways to an abandoned alley way where he would change to an animal capable of flight and then go to join in the battle. This helped him avoid the now unwanted detection by the media and general public.

As he ran down the last flight of steps and out the door of the building, he noticed that it was still raining, just as it had been that entire day. He put a cap on to keep himself dry and waited impatiently for the stoplight to change and the word WALK to be illuminate. As soon as it allowed him to, he rushed across the crosswalk, glancing at his watch and communicator.

_Pretty little miss,_

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There are many causes and effects in the intricate web of connections that make up our universe. A single, small movement resulting in one, or more, large-scale occurrences, as is described in the theory of the butterfly effect. Prominent, well-known events petering out to hundreds of millions of small effects, like waves. And every single thing is connected.

It may seem unlikely, considering, that two persons, with the eye-catching appearances such as the ones these two both had, as well as their history, could cross the same street at the same time and not notice one another. Perhaps if Robin had been but a millisecond sooner in calling, Beast Boy would have glanced up from his watch in time to see Raven pass by him. Perhaps if Raven had walked just that much more to the right as she looked intently at the ground, dark from the moisture, she would have bumped into Beast Boy. There are millions of factors that could have caused this passing to have a different outcome, both causes and effects stretching out in all directions like ripples.

But the factors, effects, and energies, resulted in what did occur, and nothing more or less. Raven and Beast Boy, both passing but a fraction of a millimeter apart, and both looking up the instant it was too late. Raven continued her journey to the store, hurrying to avoid the rain. Beast Boy continued his journey to the battle, hurrying to aid his friends. Each absorbed in their own situations, they passed silently by one another. She did not notice him. He did not notice her.

And they both continued their separate ways, the distance between them growing greater and greater once more, even as it had been getting smaller and smaller just moments before.

_When you miss, you miss like this._

A/N: Review? no flamz plz.


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